Air date: Jan. 6, 2018
Language: Crunchyroll English subtitles
Factoid: Pompompurin's most attractive feature is his "butt hole."
The series pulls a J.J. Abrams storytelling move by starting at the end. We're introduced to the Sanrio Military Academy, where the students are at war. Two Midnight Cinderella-looking knight candidates are dueling with swords. A nobleman rushes in to intervene, but the knights are unable to withdraw and end up injuring the Johnny-come-lately, who starts to bleed profusely all over the stage. It's a play, you guys. We were bamboozled with the promise of a Sanrio Military Academy. The actors break the fourth wall to let us know that it's chill, and how about they tell us how it all started?
Kouta is a second year high school student who doesn't have any shine. He's focused on various other Boys at school, because they have shine. Kouta has ennui. He and his friends Tsucchi and Macchi (they are boys but they are not Sanrio Boys) go out to search for girlfriends over the weekend. They come across a lost child and, after some hand wringing about being called out as a pervert, Kouta tries to help the little girl find her mother. She's holding a puppy purse with a tail and *-shaped butt hole. The puppy's name is Pompompurin, and they take turns poking its butt hole (no perverts here). The boys return the girl to her mother, and Kouta receives a Pompompurin sticker for his troubles. The other boys aren't impressed by this Sanrio character and ask if it's a steamed bun.
Flashback! It turns out that Kouta knew the identity of that Purin puppy the whole time, because his grandma and a big squishy Purin pal were his best friends and supporters just 4 years ago. Some mean kids bully him about his love for Purin, and Kouta renounces both the puppy and his grandma. It's an emotionally rough scene, and Purin nearly loses an ear. Kouta's grandma sews it back up and tells Purin that someday Kouta will come back to them. She ends up in the hospital and Kouta waits outside her room, wanting to apologize but telling himself that he'll do it tomorrow. She passes away, and he never tells her that he's sorry.
|Yuu chatting it up with Shushu|
Back to the present day. At school, Yuu is watching Shushu take a shower after sports practice. This is real gratuitous nudity. We almost get a peak at the D which is blocked from the shot by a bottle of Hello Kitty soap. Shushu tells him not to look, and Yuu assures him that friends don't get embarrassed. The boy in the next shower stall is moderately alarmed. Yuu is worried that he's lost his "princess" and asks if Shushu's seen her.
|Shushu confronts Kouta|
Meanwhile, elsewhere on campus, Kouta ends up finding the princess, which is a charm with a bunny character named My Melody and purikura photo of Yuu and Shushu stuck on it. He tries to return it to Yuu at school but chickens out, because he doesn't want any bullies in class to see the Sanrio princess. A chase around campus ends with Shushu backing Kouta up against a wall and staring deeply into his eyes. Two girls walk by and agree that My Melody is kawaii but "kinda weird for a guy." Yuu says nah, Sanrio is cool, right Shushu? Shushu tells Yuu not to involve him but reveals that he's carrying a Hello Kitty talisman. Yuu declares that they're the Sanrio Boys and winks.
Key Quote: "I wasn't able to apologize and I can't even admit to liking the things that I like."
Kouta (Pompompurin) - wants shine
Yuu (My Melody) - DGAF about your gender norms or personal boundaries
Shushu (Hello Kitty) - soccer star
Tsucchi and Macchi (friends of Kouta)
Shirtless Boys: 1
Best accessory: Yuu's pink hair clips